I’ve had several appointments with different professionals recently with mixed results. At the moment I feel like I am at a stalemate with my physiotherapists with them determinedly ignoring my Neurologists instructions to see me weekly and me refusing to let them ignore his instructions without putting up a fight (in a calm but firm manner). When I last saw them they gave me exercises to do at home and said they would see me again in two weeks. However if they get their way this will be the last time they see me, as they feel that until I can weight bare there is nothing more they do to help me.
Now I have to bite my tongue every time they tell me this as it was they who told me that I must absolutely not weight bare! As you can imagine this has left me very confused. To add to the confusion, only the other month they informed me the ligaments in my foot were damaged and extremely lax due to my spasms hence why I am not allowed to weight bare, yet now weight baring is all they are focused on! Whenever I ask how my foot is to heal they tell me that is up to my Neurologists plan. The worrying thing is other than more physiotherapy there is no plan of action, when I last saw my neurologist he explained he had limited resources so treatment was limited.
One of my physios big things have been that I need to get myself a new splint made, as they have now decided they are not going to refer me for a second skin one, though it has not been explained to me as to why. I saw my local Orthotics department on Friday, he was a very lovely man and I must admit that I was slightly amused to see he shared my frustration at my physiotherapists as apparently they should have written to him if they were going to make recommendations on splints. He informed me that in his entire career he had not seen such force in spasms and he did not think that splints would be of any use to me. He was concerned that if he made a splint that contained my foot all the way round then I could end up severely hurting myself when I spasm. I can see where his concern is coming from, and he is most likely right, however after much pleading from me he agreed to get his colleague who has dealt with my spasms before to take a look at me and make the splint. Even though I know this splint could result in injury, I am willing to try it. I am willing to try anything that may contain my Dystonia and make my life easier! It holds the possibility of enabling to me to walk if it works, I would happily risk injury for the chance to walk again. He couldn’t believe that my physiotherapists were not helping me more and that my Neurologist was not injecting my foot with Botox simply because I had been told not use it.
I feel like every professional I talk to at the moment contradicts one another! To me surely everyone should be saying right so the spasms have damaged your foot, let’s look at what we can do to prevent it from deteriorating any further than it already has and what we can do improve it. Surely that cannot be that hard to agree to try to do?!
On a brighter note I had a fantastic appointment with Rheumatology this week. I went to have my Hypermobility Syndrome assessed. It turns out I have Hypermobility pretty much throughout my whole body. He has agreed with my Neurologist that I need referred to an inpatient rehabilitation programme due to the pain and weakness in some sections of body. I found it very reassuring to hear him talking about the same inpatient programme despite not knowing it had already been talked about with me. In this regards everything seems to be going in the right direction.
Today I had my first one to one session with a local Yoga teacher. I had been inspired to give this a go after hearing a number of other Dystonia sufferers saying they managed to do it and enjoyed it. The teacher was lovely, she believed in completely looking at my body as a whole and worked out what I could do, not what I couldn’t! This to me was important as it took away the feeling of being disabled. For me interestingly enough I found that my hypermobility was my main issue more than my Dystonia during the session, as I had to work on controlling my flexibility so that I did not over flex the pose.
Research has shown that the benefits of yoga for movement disorders include improved strength, flexibility, balance etc. This is something that I am working towards (minus the flexibility) as due to my muscle spasms I am aware that the strength in places like my legs will not be as good as they were before I was ill. I never had a sense of balance, so if I can gain that then I’m not going to complain!
I found the whole experience to be actually quite relaxing. The fact that my Dystonia only played up a handful of times meant that I could really enjoy the session and appreciate what I was doing. My teacher was surprised at how much she could get me to do, this pleased me as I felt like I was achieving something. She explained as we went along what each pose would help with and what muscle it would stretch. By the end of the session we had a whole routine put together that I will do for half an hour every morning. I am hoping that by doing regular Yoga my muscles will get used to being stretched often, that way when it next does one of its extremes spasms – like the one that damaged my knee ligament – I won’t do as much damage to my body and I won’t be in as much pain. As much as I hope I never have to deal with that sort of extreme spasm again I know there is a good chance I will have to. I am extremely interested to see if this will help.
This week has been a complete rollercoaster of emotions. Beginning with excitement, this quickly turned into desperation and turmoil, concluding with frustration and nervousness. On Tuesday I attended a physiotherapy appointment, I was under the impression that this was to be the first of at least weekly appointments. I had been extremely excited for it as I was anticipating news of trialling a second skin splint which I was hopeful would make a difference to my leg spasms.
When I had seen my Neurologist last he had mentioned to me that he had spoken to my physiotherapists the week before to advise them on how best to treat me, and that he was very keen for me to start having intensive physiotherapy locally. He was also happy for me to trial the splint and did not say too much about it. So you can imagine my total shock on Tuesday when my physiotherapists told me that my Neurologist had advised her to discharge me and not to refer me for my splint! She was left with the impression after speaking to my Neurologist, that after I have my IV antibiotics for Lyme Disease and was cured of that then I could have physiotherapy. She was shocked to learn that I have been denied IV antibiotics by the NHS unless I have lumbar puncture, which my Neurologist has recommended I do not have as it puts me at risk of developing more Dystonia.
I left the appointment on Tuesday in a completely state of turmoil. Without IV antibiotics and without physiotherapy what chance of any sort of improvement do I have? I was furious with my Neurologist, how could a person have two completely different conversations within the space of one week. Then, Thursday afternoon, a follow-up letter from my last Neurology appointment arrived reiterating that he wanted me to receive intensive local physiotherapy. I could not be more frustrated, I can only presume that they must have had a rather ridiculous misunderstanding. Yet I question how that can even happen in the first place, the conversations reported are at extremes with each other.
I am seeing my Neurologist on Tuesday for my next lot of injections, so will be able to clear this matter up with him then. It took over a year and a half, with a lot of jumping through hoops just to receive physiotherapy, so to have it taken away after one session is not something I am going to let happen without putting up a fight.