Fighting Dystonia, Chronic Lyme, EDS Type 2 & more… any questions?

Posts tagged ‘acceptance’

Harsh Reality

September 2011 I started at Anglia Ruskin University in Chelmsford on a Midwifery degree. It was the most amazing experience of my life. July 24th 2012 I developed Oromandibular Dystonia and was put on intermission for a year. Today I was withdrawn from university on debilitating health grounds. You have no idea how much I wish to pull my little Dystonia alien out and scream at him.

My university was extremely kind about it all and I hope that in a few years time if I am well enough that I can reapply to do my Midwifery degree. In the meantime I plan on doing a Level 3 in Anatomy and physiology, and once I’ve finished that I will see where I  go from there. I have known for a few weeks that this conversation with my uni would have to happen, and have dreaded it. I had hoped that as I knew it would happen that it would not be too bad however the reality is that I am extremely upset and want to scream at the doctors until they invent a cure.

I struggle to understand how it is ok for Dystonia to upturn, stomp all over and turn inside out our lives. I struggle to comprehend why sufferers then have to fight for treatment and care. I struggle to accept the reality I’m living. I won’t ever accept it, because none of this is ok. I know one day a cure will be found and I hope it shall be in this lifetime so that I can reapply for uni.

On a brighter note my body is not too bad today which is nice and a DVD called The Host which I have excitedly been  waiting for has arrived – It is a fantastic book and an amazing film. I plan on doing nothing for the rest of the day other the watch The Host again (even though I only finished watching it ten mins ago), and then I am going to indulge myself in a bit of 50 shades freed as it’s an easy read.

Tomorrow will seem brighter, and I will get there eventually, one way or another.

Laughter is the best medicine!

Having Dystonia means that no day will be the same as any other. Some days may be a good day and others are not so good. This is a fact I have readily accepted. However what I was not prepared for was the spasms that would give everyone around me a shock yet provide amusement simultaneously.

The other day I went to put a knife away and all of a sudden the little dystonia alien decided to act up. Before anyone could help me, the spasm had caused the knife to be flung out of hand, clattering on the ground at the other side of the room. This incident could be one to fear, knife throwing after all is rather dangerous, however all of us could not help ourselves, we all burst into laughter. It was such a random and sudden incident that was shocking yet amusing. Then the next day when my body decided to spasm I sent a plastic cup full of juice flying across the room, making a mess of myself and the floor, but again none of us could help ourselves we had to laugh.

The way I see it is that you have to very clear cut options with dystonia, you can either be angry and become reclusive and isolate yourself so as to avoid potentially embarrassing situations or you can accept that this is what your body is doing, accept the fact you will have good and bad days, yet be able to laugh at the situation, find the positive side to life. After all it is widely known that laughter is the best medicine.

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